Water Your Own Lawn: What Does That Mean, and Does It Work?

How many of you reading this can say that you have been in a relationship for 10 years plus? Pick me, pick me! There comes a time in every relationship when most of us start questioning what in heck we are doing? I know I have. With every relationship we all have our up’s and down’s; its given, right? But after marriage, kids, careers, some of us tend to lose who we are as women. What we thought attracted our man 10 plus years ago may not hold true anymore. Why? The list could go on and on I suppose. But is there anything we can do about fixing it? Just because the grass may look greener on the other side that does not mean that we should venture out to eat the grass. Maybe, just maybe we should water our own lawns. Or should we?

Remember that point in time when you found Mr. Right? Cool, calm, and collected? He was amazing! You went out, you had friends, then after a few years you got married. After marriage came a kid or two, then the steady career. How is that going now? Probably not the fairy tale you thought it would be. Things have probably become complacent in your home. Punch the clock, come home, kids screaming, husbands playing video games, the house is wrecked! One word, EXHAUSTING! I feel you, I do. But where did it all go wrong? Have you caught yourself giving up, and wanting more? Are you envious of your friends, or feel like throwing in the towel? STOP right there! Lets look at a few things that can change the way you look at your life.

  1. Kids. The biggest success story we have as women are our children. Yes they drive us crazy, yes they are time-consuming. But your number one goal in life is to raise amazing kids who will go out into the world and be active and productive members of society! But, that still does not mean you do not deserve some “Me” time. Time to change your routine up. Talk to your spouse and let him know that you need “Me” time. Most husband will respect your request. Read a book, or take a long hot bath with a bottle, or two, of wine. When you are happy, your home is happy. Maybe your man will cozy up if you are relaxed and give you that attention you seek and need
  2. Work. Hello glorious corporate life; punching that 8-5 clock and working for little money! Oh we all love thee. Nope! I do not. But, we have a family. Number one rule of thumb, if you can avoid it at all cost, do not, I repeat, DO NOT take your work home with you. If you do not get paid to work weekends, do not do it. As women, we tend to reach out a helping hand and sign ourselves up for things we should not even do. How many of you reading this go out of your way to help others and never get a raise, or simple thank you? If you are one of these women, stop it right now. When you bring you work home it diverts your off time from your family. Some women, even men, become so consumed with work that they never make time for their children or their spouse. One thing you can never get back in life is the time lost from your friends and family.
  3. The Husband! “Hello Dear, how was your day?”  “You know, same ole, same ole.”  There is nothing more frustrating in the world than coming home to a husband who shows little affection to you, or at this point in the game, can barely hold a conversation with you. What do you do? Sigh and walk away? Meh, it works. After years of doing this though where has this actually got you? Alone! IF you come home and you instantly feel alone in your own home, then breaker, breaker, we have a problem! Here comes the testing of the watering your own lawn! The biggest challenge for any couple is to stay actively involve in the others life. First, communication. Second, sex! Without the two of those you might as well give up! Or should you?

Lets reflect real quick on communication and sex within a relationship. If you cannot overcome and conquer this, that grass is looking pretty damn cozy over there. Once these two are broken, fixing it is pretty difficult. It is NOT impossible to mend a broken marriage, or relationship. But it takes hard work and dedication from both people to make it work. If one person is just not feeling it, even after 10+ years, cut the rope. Many people struggle with these issues in their home. You are not alone. Finding common ground is important though. Relationship counseling is also highly encouraged.  Remember also, at the end of the day if its worth fixing, fix it. If you have exhausted all your resources and time, and things change for a while then go back, maybe you should consider other options. Remember ladies, it’s never too late to start over. Your happiness is important also! When you are happy, you have happy children. Happy children make for a happy home. Now go water your grass! Or graze in other fields. Put yourself on a pedestal, and defeat the odds.